[Scene:
backstage behind the Muppet Theatre]
Kermit : Okay, nice flocking
guys! Uh say, aren’t there more of you?
A Sheep : We don’t know.
Kermit : Why not?
A Sheep : Well, every time we try to count ourselves, we fall asleep.
Kermit : Uh, yeah.
(Enter C-3P0)
C-3P0 : Oh, Mr. Kermit, sir,
may I say what an honour it is to meet such a distinguished...amphibian as yourself
who’s brought so much joy to the universe.
Kermit : Oh, wow, well it’s a pleasure to meet both of you. And incidentally, why are
you fellows here?
C-3P0 : We are searching for Chewbacca.
Kermit : Oh, Chewbacca the wookiee?
C-3P0 : Correct
(R2-D2 beeps)
C-3P0 : As R2 rightly says,
he’s been kidnapped.
Kermit : Kidnapped? Well, why are you looking around here?
C-3P0 : We’ve received this hyperspace telegram from him.
(C-3P0 shows the hyperspace
telegram to Kermit and reads)
Kermit : Uh, "To Luke
Skywalker, C-3PO, and R2-D2: Help, I am being held prisoner by a bunch of weird
turkeys."
C-3P0 : It does rather sound like your show.
Kermit : Yeah, it does.....
(SFX: Bang. Luke bursts in
through the stage doors and runs around yelling.)
Luke : Remember Alderaan!!
I’ll search upstairs. 3PO, you cover that exit!
C-3P0 : What should I do?
Luke : Down with the Empire!!
(Luke runs off upstairs into
one of the dressing rooms.)
Kermit : Uh..uh..what was that?
C-3P0 : That was my master, Luke Skywalker. I’ll try to calm him down. But you know
how strangely excitable these humans are.
Kermit : They’re a strange race all right.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
(cut to a Muppet News Flash
about sheep's and sheepdogs.)
Newsman : And now a Muppet
news flash. Here are the results of today's national's sheep dog's trials. All the
sheepdogs have been found not guilty.
(enters Sheep's ramming at the
newsman)
Newsman : hey... ah.. ow...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
(cuts to Scooter practicing
"Six String Orchestra" on his guitar in his bedroom.)
Scooter : I'm practicing for
my big number in the second part of the show....... I hope their love it?
(A sheep pops up and sticks
his head through the window)
A Sheep: Bah!... Bah!...
Humbug, Humbug
(Scooter looks at the camera
and frowns.)
Scooter : Everybody's a
critic!
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