[Scene: still backstage, Kermit at his desk, Luke Skywalker, C-3PO and R2-D2 enters]

Kermit : Hey, did you guys find Chewbacca?
Luke : No yet, but he’s gotta be around here somewhere.
Kermit : Oh, Well, as long as you three are here, how about you go out on stage and do a song for us?
Luke : What? You must be joking!

(R2-D2 beeps and rolls around.)

Kermit : Well look your little garbage can friend wants to.
3PO: Stop it R2. ( 3PO hits R2) You’re NOT a song and dance droid. Come along. Our job is to find the wookiee.

(3PO and R2 leave.)

Luke : Listen pal, we’re on a mission. There’s no way we’re goanna be involved in some third-rate variety show.
Kermit: (looks at the camera) Second-rate variety show.

(Fozzie enters.)

Fozzie : Hey Kermit! (sees Luke) Hold it, hold it! You’re Mark Hamill!
Luke : Me?
Fozzie : Yeah!
Luke : No no no. Uh...he’s my cousin! He’s my cousin, and he’s right outside.
Fozzie : Well get him, hurry! I want to see him! Boy oh boy, I’m a big fan of his!

(Luke goes downstairs, out of the theatre, and Mark enters in through the same way.)

(SFX: Audience clapping. Mark waves and smiles.)

Mark : Hi ya Fozzie!
Fozzie : Oh wow! Hey, you know what? You get to be a guest on this very show! Right Kermit?
Kermit : Oh, well maybe. What do you do Mark?
Mark : (talking like Kermit, do his poor impression of Kermit) Uh, well you know I’ve been known to do impressions. Yeah!!!
Kermit : Hmmm... Who do you do?

(Mark looks at the camera and frowns.)

Fozzie : Oh, well I just love impressions. Ahhh!!
Mark : (talking like Fozzie, does his poor impression of Fozzie) Oh, I just love doing them. Ahhh!!
Fozzie : Terrific!! Who do you do?

(Mark frowns again.)

Mark : Hmm...maybe I just better sing.

(Mark walks to a piano and starts playing and sing's a song terribly. Kermit and Fozzie look each other)

Fozzie : (stops him) okay.
Kermit : Uh, well Mark, Ah, Actually we have enough singers on the show.
Mark : (looks disappointed, but then brightens up.) I know! How about a dancing comedian! Hit it Fozzie!

(Mark ask Fozzie to play the piano)

Fozzie : Yes sir!

(Fozzie starts playing the piano, and Mark starts dancing around and playing with a hat and cane, clicking his heels.)

Mark : (looks at the camera) Hey, did you hear about the scientist who crossed a toad with a saxophone? He got a frog horn!! (pauses, and looks at Kermit) You look sort a green.
Kermit : Well, uh, I don’t know exactly how to put this Mark, but what else do you do?
Mark : (thinks for a moment) I gargle Gershwin!
Kermit : Mark, I know exactly how to put this. Get out! Out! (kicks Mark out) We don’t need you! Thank you very much! And don’t call us, we’ll call you!
Fozzie : I didn’t get his autograph.

(Luke bursts in.)

Luke : All right, nobody leave! (looks at Fozzie) Unless you want to go through life as a rug!

(Fozzie runs off screaming, and Luke dashes off. Then Mark reappears again.)

Mark : (looks at the camera) Boy, isn’t that Luke Skywalker terrific

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